Roswell, Texas

Roswell, Texas, (by L. Neil Smith, Rex F. May, Scott Bieser, and Jen Zach) is a graphic novel that takes place in an "alternate universe" where Texas remained an independent republic after The Alamo. Fast-forward to 1947 and President Charles A. Lindbergh has dispatched some Texas Rangers (law enforcement officers, not baseball players) to Roswell, in West Texas, to investigate a reported crash of a flying saucer!

However, other countries are interested in getting there first. President Walter Disney of California and his Nazi allies, as well as the United States and the Franco-Mexican Empire are all interested in what can be found at the crash site.

For graphic novel and/or alt history fans, it is an amusing, fast-paced frolic. The story is full of actual historical figures as main characters or just a cameo appearance, including John Wayne, Lawrence of Albania (Arabia), Frank Sinatra, Lyndon B. Johnson and The Pope.

Only little tidbits of the "why and how" of this alternate timeline are revealed in the story, but I was first intriged by the map of the Federated States of Texas on the back cover (hightlighted below). The borders of this Republic of Texas are much larger than the State of Texas today, or even the territory of Texas that was wrested from Mexico in 1836 and 1848.

In little bits here and there throughout the story, the reader learns that in 1861, when the American Civil War started, Texas cut a deal with the United States. In exchange for Texan assitance putting down the rebellion, they were deeded most of Louisiana, Arkansas, and all or part of present day Missouri, Kanasas, Oklahoma and New Mexico.

While the scenario is a bit implausible, it is necessary to create the shoot-from-the-hip culture that exists in this Texas of 1947 (and 1964). Every Texas stereotype is enlarged for comedic effect. For instance, in Texas, all citizens are required to carry a handgun. You must have a permit to be exempted from this law...

Published by Big Head Press, the comic was originally serialized on their website, and can still be found there in full color.

Cheesy Texas

Is it a miracle? The State of Texas has appeared on this little girl's grilled cheese sandwich!

No, it is The 1st 6th Annual National Grilled Cheese Invitational!

"A Grilled Cheese Sammich cooking competition. You cook. The Audience decides. Everybody wins!"

Cheese is good.



Via Boing Boing.

Inflated Views

From the New York Times, December 8, 2001: On March 29, 1976, a simple, pastel map of New York City appeared on the cover of The New Yorker. Drawn from the perspective of a low-flying bird looking west from Ninth Avenue, you could see the world receding from the city: the Hudson River, New Jersey, Kansas City, then the Pacific Ocean and Japan. It was Saul Steinberg's famous "View of the World from Ninth Avenue," a drawing reproduced and imitated countless times. Every city wanted a version of its own. Steinberg once said that if he had gotten the proper royalties, "I could have retired on this painting." This inflated view of one's own importance is not the first time such a map has been created. Here is another look at New York in relation to the rest of the country, by Daniel K. Wallingford, in 1937; A New Yorker's Idea of the United States of America:

© The Saul Steinberg Foundation/Artists Rights Society (ARS), NY. Cover reproduced with permission of The New Yorker magazine. All rights reserved. per Sheila Schwartz, Executive Director, The Saul Steinberg Foundation

Not to be outdone, here is a view from California:



As mentioned here before, Texas is in love with its geographic shape. They also like to tell us how everything is bigger in Texas. Below are two postcards from my collection that illustrate that infatuation:





And finally, on this postcard, Alabama, for reasons unclear, have an inflated view of themselves:

Don't Mess With Texas

As I mentioned in my previous post, there is a big primary election Tuesday in Texas and Ohio*. I've already posted a few things about Ohio, so here are some of my postcards from Texas:



I have visited Texas several times, both to visit friends and to attend conventions. I particularly enjoyed San Antonio and Corpus Christi. San Antonio is a terrific convention town. I appreciate the way all the major hotels and convention center are all connected by the River Walk. Corpus Christi is blessed with Gulf breezes and beautiful beaches and the nearby Padre Island National Seashore.

• Prior to European colonization, Texas was inhabited by Native American nations such as the Caddo, Comanche and Apache.


• Claimed by Spain, the territory was controlled by Mexico after their independence in 1810.


• Texas declared its independence from Mexico in 1836, and functioned as an independent republic for nearly a decade.


• In 1845, Texas joined the United States as the 28th state, initiating a war with Mexico, that cost Mexico one third of its territory.


• In 1861, Texas seceded from the Union, and was "reconstructed" in 1870.

Perhaps more than any other state, Texas is in love with its distinctive shape:

Today, the outline of Texas is familiar enough to be a well-known image, an icon. The shape has also become a symbol, that is, something concrete implying a much larger idea which can raise strong feelings. The curves and straight lines of the Texas border serve as neon signs, billboards, book covers, television images, packages, and brochures to advertise calculators, trash bags, insurance agencies, cigars, houses, used cars, railroads, cans of beans, clothing, cosmetics, and the state itself. The gloriously uncopyrighted shape of Texas has become swimming pools, cakes, masks, hats, shirts, piñatas, buildings, evergreen topiaries, sculpture, and balloons.

The official slogan of the Texas Department of Transportation is "Don't mess with Texas." It was created as part of an anti-litter campaign, but has grown in popularlity as an unofficial slogan for the state, and The Department of Transportation has sent cease and desist letters to several organizations in an attemp to make them stop using their trademarked slogan.



*Yes, I know that Rhode Island and Vermont are also holding primaries... but I don't have any map postcards from your states, rendering you less important. Perhaps you can help me remedy the situation.

Texas Vintage Reproduction Souvenir Tablecloth!

I've been planning to post some of my Texas postcards and other map memorabilia, in honor of the big presidential primary tomorrow. Unfortunately, circumstances have kept me away from the scanner.

However, Mrs. Cartophiliac recently pointed me toward this website, where they sell actual vintage, and reproductions of vintage style housewares for the "Modern Gal & Dapper Guy!"

Retro Redheads is offering this Texas Vintage Reproduction Souvenir Tablecloth!

Both the Clinton and Obama campaigns staffs could use this tablecloth while planning election strategy over lunch!

More Texas map fun later tonight or tomorrow... (I hope).

Cold War Update

On Thursday, television political analyst, Stephen Colbert, provided an update on the status of the cold war, including an outline of the latest piece in the breakup of the map of old Yugoslavia.

Not in this clip, but at the beginning of the program, Colbert questioned whether the independence of Kosovo was a plot by "Big Atlas" to get us all to buy new world maps...